Postcards - Prompt fic - Fracturedverse
Apr. 1st, 2011 03:07 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
lone_defenderSet: December 2010
Prompt: http://i55.tinypic.com/29o6ckz.jpg
Six days, and she still tried to pretend she traveled alone. Twenty feet and she ignored her constant company as much as she could in a maze of a ship. Sometimes she'd take advantage of the dimensional mechanics of the TARDIS and intentionally lock him out--or on rarer occasions she locked him inside and spent time alone outside the TARDIS.
Six days and she pretended a name and a face she wanted to forget didn't follow her everywhere she walked, forcing her to remember. She pretended to ignore a face that constantly reminded her of things she lost and people who've left.
She's taken it out on him when she can't pretend. She's screamed and she's shoved and fought, and it didn't matter that he didn't have a choice, she wanted him out. He never left, of course, but he couldn't even if he wanted to. He was trapped, and she was stuck with him, and she wanted whatever game the Ood were playing to come to an end already.
It wouldn't, of course. She didn't have any control over that, either.
She still tried, as she poured over things in the library, looking for answers the metacrisis would already have in his head if they were there. At some point while she was reading, the man walked up to where she sat, flipping through things. Somehow, it wasn't even a surprise to see the letters in his hands.
She pretended it didn't bring up memories she wanted to forget when she saw them. "They're not written for you, put them back where you found them."
He sat down on across from her. "I don't need to open them to know what they say. I've got every single word memorized." He taps his forehead. "Up here. All of it."
"If you've got it there, then you don't need to be handling them, either."
"You wrote him post cards." Was the other Doctor with his face this irritating, or did it come with his stealing her memories? "One post card every souvenir stop. And then letters when there weren't any."
"It's not as if that's uncommon."
"You stopped."
She snapped the book shut and glared up at him. "Yeah, thanks. Those are my memories you're talking about, I think I'd know. And so do you, so if you've got a point--"
"Of course I know, I've got everything you've got up here, but you know what else I've got? The Doctor. And you won't talk about it to anyone else. You're afraid of what Doctors will think if you tell them all of the gritty, unflattering details." He leaned forward. "I'm the Doctor" he pointed suddenly, cutting her off before she could vocalize her thought, "and you can't argue that or you'll betray Theta's memory so don't even try. I know. I've seen and I've felt every single thing in your head, even the things you've hidden from everyone. And I'm still here. Still willing to talk. So talk."
"Like you said, you've already got it in your head, right? So what's the point of me telling you it all over again?"
"Pay attention, Rose. I've got everything that's in your head. You haven't gotten what's in mine."
She stared at him for a few moments. It was so very...Doctor-like of him. Very much like the other Doctor with his face had been. Doctors were always so good at giving hope even when there wasn't any...but they were equally good at crushing it out. "What've my letters got to do with any of that?"
He reached over the table to touch her hand. "You wrote letters. You wrote letters you expected to be read, not the letters you'd send to a dead relative you're seeking some sort of...closure for. You believed. You believed so completely that you'd find him again you turned away every alternative, and believed an impossibility on a few words."
"Yeah, and that worked out brilliantly, didn't it?"
He stared at her a moment, green eyes reflecting the deepest sympathy...and she wanted to throw her book at him. The hand of his over hers squeezed slightly, before he continued. "You gave up."
"It's not the first time, Doctor."
He scowled in annoyance. "Oh, stop that! You know exactly what I mean! You gave up on you! You let go, you gave up hope, and you quit looking. You quit trying. You. Stopped."
She jerked her hand away and stood. "Look, if you've got nothing useful to say, I'm going back to that bit about trying to save this universe."
He stayed seated, but he watched her intently. "Bad things happen, Rose. Sometimes bad, horrifying things happen that you'll never forget and never get away from no matter how far you run. Sometimes you meet people you think you can trust--people you ought to be able to trust with everything and they...turn out to be terrible people. Sometimes trust is broken, because that's the point of trust. If it's never broken you'll never know what trust is." He stood then, although she'd yet to try to walk away. "But...but just because you've met one person, just because you've lost, just because you've been hurt...it doesn't mean you give up. It doesn't mean that every single person is bad, and you of all people should know that, Rose."
"I do. Now leave it alone."
"No, I won't. Because you're right, you do know. And I won't let this end before you remember."
Prompt: http://i55.tinypic.com/29o6ckz.jpg
Six days, and she still tried to pretend she traveled alone. Twenty feet and she ignored her constant company as much as she could in a maze of a ship. Sometimes she'd take advantage of the dimensional mechanics of the TARDIS and intentionally lock him out--or on rarer occasions she locked him inside and spent time alone outside the TARDIS.
Six days and she pretended a name and a face she wanted to forget didn't follow her everywhere she walked, forcing her to remember. She pretended to ignore a face that constantly reminded her of things she lost and people who've left.
She's taken it out on him when she can't pretend. She's screamed and she's shoved and fought, and it didn't matter that he didn't have a choice, she wanted him out. He never left, of course, but he couldn't even if he wanted to. He was trapped, and she was stuck with him, and she wanted whatever game the Ood were playing to come to an end already.
It wouldn't, of course. She didn't have any control over that, either.
She still tried, as she poured over things in the library, looking for answers the metacrisis would already have in his head if they were there. At some point while she was reading, the man walked up to where she sat, flipping through things. Somehow, it wasn't even a surprise to see the letters in his hands.
She pretended it didn't bring up memories she wanted to forget when she saw them. "They're not written for you, put them back where you found them."
He sat down on across from her. "I don't need to open them to know what they say. I've got every single word memorized." He taps his forehead. "Up here. All of it."
"If you've got it there, then you don't need to be handling them, either."
"You wrote him post cards." Was the other Doctor with his face this irritating, or did it come with his stealing her memories? "One post card every souvenir stop. And then letters when there weren't any."
"It's not as if that's uncommon."
"You stopped."
She snapped the book shut and glared up at him. "Yeah, thanks. Those are my memories you're talking about, I think I'd know. And so do you, so if you've got a point--"
"Of course I know, I've got everything you've got up here, but you know what else I've got? The Doctor. And you won't talk about it to anyone else. You're afraid of what Doctors will think if you tell them all of the gritty, unflattering details." He leaned forward. "I'm the Doctor" he pointed suddenly, cutting her off before she could vocalize her thought, "and you can't argue that or you'll betray Theta's memory so don't even try. I know. I've seen and I've felt every single thing in your head, even the things you've hidden from everyone. And I'm still here. Still willing to talk. So talk."
"Like you said, you've already got it in your head, right? So what's the point of me telling you it all over again?"
"Pay attention, Rose. I've got everything that's in your head. You haven't gotten what's in mine."
She stared at him for a few moments. It was so very...Doctor-like of him. Very much like the other Doctor with his face had been. Doctors were always so good at giving hope even when there wasn't any...but they were equally good at crushing it out. "What've my letters got to do with any of that?"
He reached over the table to touch her hand. "You wrote letters. You wrote letters you expected to be read, not the letters you'd send to a dead relative you're seeking some sort of...closure for. You believed. You believed so completely that you'd find him again you turned away every alternative, and believed an impossibility on a few words."
"Yeah, and that worked out brilliantly, didn't it?"
He stared at her a moment, green eyes reflecting the deepest sympathy...and she wanted to throw her book at him. The hand of his over hers squeezed slightly, before he continued. "You gave up."
"It's not the first time, Doctor."
He scowled in annoyance. "Oh, stop that! You know exactly what I mean! You gave up on you! You let go, you gave up hope, and you quit looking. You quit trying. You. Stopped."
She jerked her hand away and stood. "Look, if you've got nothing useful to say, I'm going back to that bit about trying to save this universe."
He stayed seated, but he watched her intently. "Bad things happen, Rose. Sometimes bad, horrifying things happen that you'll never forget and never get away from no matter how far you run. Sometimes you meet people you think you can trust--people you ought to be able to trust with everything and they...turn out to be terrible people. Sometimes trust is broken, because that's the point of trust. If it's never broken you'll never know what trust is." He stood then, although she'd yet to try to walk away. "But...but just because you've met one person, just because you've lost, just because you've been hurt...it doesn't mean you give up. It doesn't mean that every single person is bad, and you of all people should know that, Rose."
"I do. Now leave it alone."
"No, I won't. Because you're right, you do know. And I won't let this end before you remember."
